Chris is 15 and we're alive at night! Today we talk about In-N-Out Burger, COVID commercials, the National Geographic + Vans collab, Jimmy Fallon, wearing masks, 90 Day Fiancé, Big Ed, and having a light that you don't know how to turn off.

Today we have a follow-up to the Hillary Duff cookie saga, Tekashi 6ix9ine's Billboard allegations & Snoop Dogg's response, POV TikTok, Married at First Sight, an examination of titles in pornography, and orgasming to cure Restless Leg Syndrome. Plus, trash dog Vincenzo makes an appearance on the YouTube video.

Today we talk about how Chris ate a certain celebrity's cookies, Tekashi 6ix9ine, driving with masks on, the mystery of Chris's missing jury duty letters, and 2 of Chris's favorite YouTube stars: Tim Byrne & Daniel Songer.

Today we discuss Italian roots, watching Sopranos, Chris thinking he wanted to be in the NBA, funerals, the Butthole song, and we cover something we somehow never covered before: the Christian Bale rant.

Thank you bambee.com/congrats - joinhoney.com/congrats - meundies.com/congrats - shipstation.com code: CONGRATS

Still staying at home! Today we talk about Trump talking about injecting disinfectants, Too Hot To Handle, Adele's divorce settlement, and JIMMBOs that are up to something.

It's episode 169 and everyone's staying at home! How was your 4-20? Today we talk about Chris finally finishing Breaking Bad, Kanye beeping, scatting, remaking the The Walking Dead, a quote from Teddy Roosevelt, and STEROIDS.

Hope you're staying home and staying safe, babies. Today we address blowback from the conspiracy folks on the internet, how hot text chain arguments are, the meaning of the word "underrated", Doomsday Preppers, OnlyFans, and how much Chris loves his brother Matt.

Thank you: https://buyracon.com/congrats - https://getquip.com/congrats - Last Degree of Kevin Bacon Podcast on Spotify - https://getroman.com/babies

We're still here and we're still being safe! On today's show we talk about Breaking Bad, Covid conspiracies, Shai, a story from the Coffee Bean, a story about small bites, and an update to the rat kid story.

Thank you: adamandeve.com code: congrats - manscaped.com code: babies - joinhoney.com/congrats - postmates.com code: congrats

Chris just turned 40, happy birthday, Chris! Topics today include: Tiger King, the Apple TV remote, televangelist Kenneth Copeland destroying coronavirus, Akon's real name, and how people need to stay the fuck at home.

Thank you: https://keeps.com/congrats - https://blueapron.com - https://liquidiv.com code: congrats - https://betterhelp.com/congrats

Today Chris is all alone, no Juan, no Ivan. We're being safe, so you should be, too! On today's show we talk about the people who have been preparing for quarantine their whole lives, celebrity "Imagine" with Gal Gadot, Harvey Weinstein getting a coronavirus test, a story about a community college production of Grease, Madonna, and a film Chris made when he was 23.

Today we're being careful, on quarantine, coming at you responsibly, and reminding you to take this seriously as well. We discuss the latest with Coronavirus, Italians being emotional and singing, being cooped up, Jean-Claude Van Damme, cucks who hoard toilet paper, and arguing with people on Twitter. Please be careful and stay healthy out there, babies!

Today we announce Chris's new Netflix special "No Pain"! April 14th, set your reminders on Netflix now. Today Chris talks about how he feels about his different specials, Coronavirus, Trump, Biden, LL Cool J, Hulk Hogan, and his own sexy hands.

Today Chris talks about Coronavirus, BTS, McMillions documentary and the FBI agent Doug Mathews, not trusting people who "unplug", a story about his friend Dan, and his bionic child. Tickets for Congratulations Podcast Live are on sale Friday Mar 6, 2020.

Today Chris talks about having a a real baby(!), Herman Cain's ad from 2012, people who are always complimenting Lizzo's looks, Dwyane Wayne, Young Thug, Boosie Badazz, and getting pulled over.

Today Chris talks about Buffalo Wild Wings vs. Houston, a Jason Statham story, Chris Brown's face tattoo, Bad Bunny, and that farting is sexy.

Today Chris talks about the Oscars, and congratulations to Bong Joon Ho, favorite past Oscar moments like James Cameron’s acceptance and Travolta trying to say Idina Menzel, Future, Only Fans, white knights, and making sure you get that scrilla.

It’s the turtleneck episode! Today Chris talks about how much he hated the Sabra Super Bowl commercial, the greatest acting performance of all time (it’s Nicolas Cage in Bad Lieutenant), Machine Gun Kelly, and Patrick Mahomes.

Today we talk about Kobe Bryant, his legacy, his tragic death and the reaction to it, LeBron, the tendency to be petty, Ari Shaffir, Dennis Murphy, and writing new material.

Thank you: cash.app - joinhoney.com/congrats getquip.com/congrats - blueapron.com/congrats 

Today, we've got a new story about Michael Lenoci traveling. Also discussed: Aaron Hernandez, Jawline, Tom Segura, Commes de Garcon, and the song Otis by Magma.

Today, Chris talks about being in the friendzone, algebra, YOU season 2, making up words as a kid, and developing your identity. Plus, a special strip club story.